Jimn Kyles

Unstuck & Unstoppable

004:Sabotaged From Within Pt.1 (Subconscious Paradigms)

In today’s episode we will show you the power of the subconscious and the need to be aware of what it’s doing in our life. We will talk about paradigms, the unseen subconscious programming that runs in the background of your mind and the difference between a healthy and unhealthy paradigm.


You can order your copy of my book “Unstuck and Unstoppable” here –https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1951022165

Join our email newsletter and received the first three chapters of “Unstuck & Unstoppable” along with three eBooks here – https://pages.jimnkyles.com/newsletter

Website- www.jimnkyles.com

For access to Spotify, Apple Podcast, GooglePlay click: https://kite.link/Episode-4


Connect with Jimn

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jimnkyles

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimnkyles/

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/jimn.kyles?_rdc=1&_rdr



#unstuck #unstoppable #unstuckandunstoppable #unstuckandunstoppablepodcast #jimnkyles  #SelfCare #selfcarematters #SelfCareIsHealthcare #selfcarebook #selfcarefirst #getunstuck #getunstucknow #getunstuckbeunstoppable #leadwell #leadwellservewell#moveyourlifeforward #moveyourlifeforwardnow #moveyourlifeforwardonpurpose #moveforward #moveforwardtogether #moveforwardinfaith #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipskills

Jimn Kyles 0:00
Welcome to the unstuck and unstoppable podcast where we help you move your life forward. Look today. If you have ever felt like you might be sabotaging your own life, and you don’t know why this episode is for you right now, right here. I’m your host Jimn Kyles. I’m here with Jolea Garza.

Jolea Garza 0:19
Hey, I’m so excited for today. This is gonna be so great week number four. Yes, come

Jimn Kyles 0:24
on unstuck and unstoppable. We’re so thrilled about what’s been happening with the podcast, so many great things.

Jolea Garza 0:30
So many great things are happening. So many people are reaching out and just talking about how this podcast is already helping transform their lives.

Jimn Kyles 0:37
So we want to personally say thank you for rating the podcast sharing the podcast. Each and every week, we’ll come and let you know if if you if you review it, we may give you a shout out. In fact, I think we got a shout out today.

Jolea Garza 0:49
We do have one. So we have SM Kyles, who left us a review and our rate of five star rating on an Apple podcast. So we’re so grateful for that review. We are grateful that you’re on this journey with us. Thank you for reviewing. You know what he said? Yeah. Love this podcast. It’s full of practical tools to life live life. unstuck. Keep up the great work.

Jimn Kyles 1:12
Yeah, that’s awesome. Now you may be saying SM kyles. Well, that’s my twin broker. Undercover. Yeah. Thanks for the review, man. And if you don’t know you need to go check out his podcast. He has one of the top podcast in financing business, and it’s called the loan officer leadership podcast. So if you want to go check it out, you want to go check it out. Steve, thanks for your feedback and showing us some love. So grateful for that. Again, if you’d review the podcast, wherever it is that you consume your content, we would surely appreciate it helps us move up into the rankings and really get it in front of more people so that we can help them get unstuck and become unstoppable. Come home. Hey, today we’re gonna talk about the power of the subconscious paradigm.

Jolea Garza 1:56
Man I am. So looking forward to this discussion, discussion. I think this has been one of the biggest game changers in my personal life. And so I’m so excited to unpack this today.

Jimn Kyles 2:06
There’s gonna be a lot. Yeah, you know, I was thinking. So those of you that don’t know us, I actually lead a church. We launched the church nine years ago 2013. In Rosenberg, we ended up buying and building and rehabbing a property in Richmond, which is where our church is called Anchor bend church. We’ve been doing a long time. Julia, you’ve been with me doing this a long time. Yeah,

Jolea Garza 2:28
I’ve been here for if you’ve been here, nine, I’ve been here eight and a half. Yeah, I joined joined this journey. Good while ago, a decade ago. And it’s been such a beautiful journey, such a powerful journey. And I’m so grateful for this church and the impact that’s had on my life. And then to be a part of it, you know, where I am now. It’s just just such a blessing. It’s

Jimn Kyles 2:46
a huge win for us. We’ve seen so many great things happen. And the reason I tell you what I do is because I’m going to tell you a story as to where all of this subconscious talk came from. For me, personally, in 2019, we were leaving the church, our church was portable, we were fast growing, multi generational, non denominational church, things are going great. Now I know you got listeners that don’t go to church, that’s not your flow. That’s okay, you’re still going to get something out of this. So don’t tune out. Because I really believe it’s going to show you the power of the subconscious and how we’ve got to be aware of what it’s doing in our life. Well, 2019, we as a church began to look for land and property. We were portable setting up and tearing down in a school Joe, you know all

Jolea Garza 3:32
about us for eight years, eight years of setting up and tearing down, man. Yeah, it’ll work out. It’ll work you mentally it’s the thing.

Jimn Kyles 3:41
Yeah. So we found a property Yeah. felt like this was the property we’re supposed to buy. I’m not gonna go into all the details. So the end of 2019 we take up and offering things are moving forward. And I just really started to like, ask God, God, are we really supposed to do this? We had to raise a lot of money in a short amount of time. And I’m praying, and I’m asking God, well, all of a sudden, you know, just it’s really at the beginning of the whole campaign. I was praying and the Lord gave me a scripture, Jeremiah 3227, I am the Lord. Is there anything too hard for me? And I felt like that was the Lord speaking to me. But I had secretly on the inside before we launched the campaign, just this concern, this doubt, like, God, I don’t know if you can do this, I’m not sure. And I need reassurance. And the Lord gave me that Scripture in the middle of a quiet time. And it brought a resolve in my heart. So that’s important to know. Yeah, fast forward into 2020. March of 2020. We all know what happened then you had a global shutdown and life changed forever. And we were supposed to close on this property in that event next month or next month. And lo and behold, we had raised a lot of money. We didn’t close April banks froze all kinds of lending. Long story short, we ended up closing in June, and then late either six months, eight months later, we’re now in our brand new campus here in Richmond, it’s been an absolute miracle. Now, let me go back to the journey, though, because that’s where I think you’re going to understand the subconscious paradigm, and what power it plays over our life. So fast forward to today, we’ve seen a miracle, God’s doing amazing things. But in that journey, I was feeling stuck. And it really happened around, you know, July of 2020. We’re all in this global shutdown. And it’s the premise of the book, I wrote a book, it’s gonna be released November 8, super excited about it, you’re looking for it. You want to go pre order a copy, go to the website, that’s fine. But the whole premise of being stuck, I began to find myself stuck. And I didn’t know why. And so I’m searching. I’m asking God, I’ve got some doubts and concerns. And then the Lord gave me the Scripture, the passage, but all of a sudden, I kept hearing in my spirit, go back to fishing with Johnny.

Jolea Garza 6:01
Because this, I don’t know, what is this? We need to know.

Jimn Kyles 6:05
We need to you know, you have this in the inside. It’s like you feel something you sense them. For us as believers we believe God’s speaking to are correct. So I’m like fishing with Johnny. I was 15 years old. Wow. Like I’m a teenager. And it’s a story that I’m going to tell you about. But But the Lord said it and I’m like, Dad, disregard it. I felt it again, go back to it. Yeah. And I’ve been in counseling for eight years, thank God for counselors

Jolea Garza 6:28
raise God don’t know where it would be.

Jimn Kyles 6:31
And so I’ve been in counseling, and I thought, I gotta process this with a counselor. And really go back to this whole story of Johnny. And I don’t know what’s there, but I kept filling the Lord, lead me back to it. So I go and have got to talk about fishing with John, let me just share with you, I don’t know what’s gonna come out of this. And so I began to talk. Here’s the story. 15 years old, my friend Johnny, don’t even remember his last name. His dad bought a brand new big fishing boat. And I’m like, That’s awesome. Well, he invited me to go fishing with him. And I’m thinking, that’s amazing. My dad had restaurants. We didn’t do a whole lot of fun things. We worked all the time. And so this was an opportunity to go get on the water get in a boat, which I had never done, really in my entire life. And so I’m pumped. I’m fired up. Friday night, we get ready. We start to load the boat and it starts pouring down. I know. I know. Yeah. Here I am. As a 15 year old teenager, I’m like, man, we’re going out, starts raining. Well, I’ve been in church my whole life, and I’m frustrated. I’m like, God, of course, the one time I’m gonna go out like any other day and be sunny, right? And so I’m praying. I’m like, God, please, please let the rain stop. What didn’t stop. Johnny says, Hey, you want to stay the night if you stay the night tomorrow, we can go fishing. My dad will take his fishing. I said, Man, I don’t know if my mom’s gonna let me stay. But I call my mom. Lo and behold, she lets me stay here. And so he lets me stay the night she lets me stay the night. And I remember praying. God, please. Don’t let it rain. Please got it. Here was my prayer. I’ve never asked you for anything. I’ve been in church my whole life. I heard that God answers prayer, God. And I just felt like this hole. And I didn’t even realize the depth of this prayer. But something deepens. I was like, God, I’ve never asked you for anything. Wow. And so I prayed that prayer, we get up the next morning, and it is cloudy, it looks like it’s about the storm. And his dad said, Well, let’s go ahead and go get on the boat and take it to the dock. And let’s see. And lo and behold, as we’re doing all that, it begins to pour down rain. And my heart was crushed. And I began to process it with my counselor. What I realized was in that moment, that though it was just a moment to go fishing with Johnny and his family, that in that moment, I made an inner vow that I will never get my hopes up again, wow, that if I don’t get my hopes up, I can never be disappointed. If I don’t have get my hopes up. Nobody can ever let me down. And the second thing that I didn’t even know. But in my heart, I believed God could do miracles. But God would never do a miracle for me. Wow. Well imagine that. Here. I am a pastor. I mean, the ramifications of that are unbelievable. Because as a pastor, we work in the miracle working. Yeah. And so as I began to process it, what I realized was God’s done miracles in my life, but I never really asked him for him. Right, right. So God, if you want to do a miracle, do a miracle. God, if you want to do something, I’ll be your vessel. But I wouldn’t believe that he would do it for me because I asked, wow, wow. And the Lord really taught me that in that moment. When I asked him, Hey, can we buy the building? Here’s what I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t ask him Can we buy the building? I was asking, Lord,

Jolea Garza 9:56
can you keep it from raining? Wow, what a revelation at

Jimn Kyles 10:00
As a 44 year old man, moving all the way back to my teens, asking God for the miracle of today, but really speaking through the child’s heart of a teenager, 30 years later, 30 years later, and the Lord really spoke to me said, that’s why I gave you Jeremiah 3227. You didn’t know what I was doing. But I was positioning my truth in your bad reality. Wow. So your paradigm, which a paradigm is the unseen subconscious programming that runs in the background of your mind? So it’s the it’s the software program, right? That whether you realize it or not, every single day, your subconscious paradigm is running in the background of your life, and it’s causing you to make good decisions and bad decisions, even though you don’t even realize that’s what’s happening. Right.

Jolea Garza 10:51
And I love I just love this example so much because how powerful is that? You know, you’re you’re walking through this and and had you not gone to that paradigm would have figured out what what that was? It probably would have stifled what happened. You know, it it’s such a miracle, what you’ve experienced, that God has done in and through you and for this church, but But had you not addressed the root? The fear? You’re absolutely right. Yeah, it would have it would have totally undone everyone. Here’s

Jimn Kyles 11:19
what’s even crazier, I had to go back and wonder, are there other miracles God wanted to do in my life that I sabotage? Wow. Because I didn’t grab a hold of the truth of this word. To change the situation. My life. Wow. So I wonder, here’s what I would ask all of our listeners is, what’s your fishing with Johnny story? So good. What is it? That whether you know it or not, could be secretly sabotaging your life right now. And here’s what’s interesting, you know, I was really praying about it’s like, God, you didn’t have to tell me the fishing with Johnny, you gave me a scripture. But I felt like he said, Yeah, the Scripture was good, because you were ignorant. But I needed you to go to the root so that now you don’t need that, to move forward. When I speak. You don’t have to have like five confirmations, brother awesome to come and tell me something. It’s like no, you know, that there’s a place where your life was being sabotaged. And now you’re walking in the

Jolea Garza 12:15
truth? Yeah. And I don’t know how many of us have have spent that time studying scripture after scripture. You know, maybe you struggle with worry. And you’ve quoted Matthew 633. And, you know, Seek first God’s kingdom and everything else will be added. But But you keep reading it, and it just doesn’t resonate. Maybe there’s something on the other side, that that a route that needs to be dealt with. That’s so important. And so going back to find those paradigms, usually means you have to go all the way back to your childhood. That’s why I love counseling, because you got to go back to your childhood, you have to go back to the past, absolutely hear out where it came from?

Jimn Kyles 12:49
Well, I read a survey or a study that was very fascinating. The National Science Foundation found that the average person has about 12 to 60,000. Thoughts per day. Think about that. 12 To 60,000 thoughts in a day. And here’s what’s interesting of those 1000s of thoughts. 80% of them are negative. Wow. 95% were the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. Wow, think about that. So whatever negative thinking whatever positive thinking, either one is like it’s repetitive behavior. Where the same exact repetitive thoughts as the day before, and so whatever you have today, and you’re living out today, you perfectly designed for your life to live out. Wow. Can you imagine that? And we’re, that’s where we talked about the whole secret sabotage. You know, the paradigm the subconscious, you’re not even aware of it right? And then you just wonder, here’s what I would say maybe you’re in a situation and you jump from workplace, to workplace to workplace to workplace. Now, your excuse is a different name. Uh huh. But the situation is the exact same, right? And you’re like, what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with everybody else? Well, there’s only one common denominator, it’s you do. So painful, painful. Think about relationships. You have someone that doesn’t have deep friendships. And they go from one new best friend to a new net best five to another best friend. And you see a pattern to where do you see a pattern, where it’s almost like you got to start back over? Wow, like something is not right. And if we continue to blame others, we’re never going to be able to have the responsibility to change. And so a healthy subconscious paradigm helps you to excel in life. But an unhealthy subconscious paradigm. sabotages your life. Wow. And I was even thinking about your example that you gave us.

Jolea Garza 14:45
Yeah, yeah. So you know, I tell the story about and I’ve shared this before in being tested for Gifted and Talented I was probably in the first second third grade. As a student I was a smart student actually graduated high school salutatory and so second in my class and all He’s excelled in school. But I was young and my parents were like, there’s something in this child. And so they had me tested for the Gifted and Talented program multiple times. And every single time I failed well, and so I didn’t think anything of it, you know, I always just said, that’s fine, I’m just going to work really hard. I did really well in school got accepted into some great universities. But then I realized, getting into the workforce and kind of getting into some different things. I kept getting challenged to do these creative projects and to design things and put graphics and different things together. And my excuse was always, I’m not a creative, I’m not special, you know, I can’t think outside the box and do all of these specials. That’s a lot. And so it all went back to and I didn’t realize it until last year, you know, going through this unstuck and unstoppable process, that it all went back to the fact that when I failed those gifted and talented programs, something resonated on the inside of me that said, I am not gifted, and I’m not talented. So I’m just gonna work hard. Yes, right.

Jimn Kyles 15:58
Yes, it has the potential to sabotage you, right? When here’s, here’s what’s interesting on the paradigms that we have, it’s all based out of a thought that is believed. So it’s not really thoughts that matter. It’s the thought that you believe that matters. And so that’s what begins to create our paradigm in our life. And the times we’re the most susceptible to that is as young children, yes. You know, our paradigms are formed many times as young children in environments that were raised in, because a thought comes in our head or someone says something. Right. And you believe that? Yeah, well, once you believe that thought, whether it’s truth or a lie, yeah, it now becomes a part of who you are becomes a part of the filter that you see your

Jolea Garza 16:40
acceptance. That’s right. You know, you accept whatever has been spoken over you or whatever failure happened. And you allow that to be the end all be

Jimn Kyles 16:48
all. That’s right. Yeah. Well, in paradigms, what they do is they create the reality that you live in, wow. Think about so whatever reality you’re living in. Now, it’s because of the paradigm that you have. That’s how come you can have two people have the same exact experience, but walk away with totally different stories of what just happened. Wow. Have you ever had that happen to spouse? And you’re like, hey, we’re watching the movie. And did you see this and not see that. But I saw,

Jolea Garza 17:14
I was watching the outfit that the girl was wearing. And I’m like, Man, I need to get on Amazon? Where do I find this my husband’s like, but the plot line is the plot line that’s so important.

Jimn Kyles 17:24
It’s the different realities based on the paradigms that you developed and your paradigm determines your response in life. Wow, here’s a great illustration would be we’ve all seen those illustrations of a glass half empty, glass half full? Well, the glass is at the same level, but your paradigm, your filter, which is what a paradigm is it’s the filter, it’s like the glasses, right? That you see the world through, will determine, hey, if that glass is half full, or glass half empty, and then some people just say I’m a realist, right, whatever. Yeah. It’s your paradigm. Yeah,

Jolea Garza 17:59
there’s water in the glass.

Jimn Kyles 18:00
That’s right. What is in the glass? Yeah, well, and someone said, Well, does that even matter? It absolutely does. You know, I talk a little bit about in the messages that I’ve shared, that if you see the glass that you’re out to the restaurant, we all love to eat Texas, and I think we all love to eat. But to go out to a restaurant, your glass is half full, and you see it as half full your content, right? You’re like, Hey, man, my glasses got half full. I’ve got enough water. I’m not worried about taking a sip and being out. But if you’re someone that looks at that same level of glass and say, That’s half empty, it’s empty. Now what you’re gonna do is you’re looking for the waitstaff, right, hey, man, I need you to come fill my glass, your anxiety, there’s a discontentment, you’re not, you’re checking out of the conversation, because you’re trying to find the waiter or the waitress, come over here, come over here, yeah, totally changes the way you respond to the same situation. I

Jolea Garza 18:49
think that’s also how, you know, in relationships, specifically in marriage. This is such a great concept to learn and understand, because that’s why you can be facing the same challenge. Maybe it’s financial challenge. Maybe it’s a challenge with your children, and a lot of disagreements still out of the paradigms that you had previously in our lives. Right. And so you’re looking at the same situation. And you have two totally differing opinions because of the way you were raised because of what you experienced as a child and trying to figure it out. Well, that’s

Jimn Kyles 19:19
how come your marriage is. Yeah,

Jolea Garza 19:21
it’s like, Why doesn’t he get it? And it’s because he didn’t grow up the same way I grew up.

Jimn Kyles 19:25
Yeah, well, in a great illustration is the paradigm, the subconscious. The conscious mind is like an iceberg. If you’ve ever seen an iceberg, the top of the iceberg that’s out of the water. That’s like the conscious mind. But the subconscious is like the iceberg that’s underneath the water. It’s massive, that it’s vast. It’s way bigger than what’s on top. What’s on top is just a fraction. So when you connect with that spouse, you connect with that person that you spend the rest of your life. You’re just dealing with their conscious surface level. And it’s not until you live together and you do live together, that that iceberg from within and underneath begins to be demonstrated and the reality of the subconscious and even the unconscious right begins to impact the relationship.

Jolea Garza 20:11
I think that’s, you know, this is not a marriage podcast. But I think the next time you have a disagreement, just, you know, maybe just ask what did my spouse experience? Maybe as a child they’ve shared with me that might be contributing to the disagreement we’re having.

Jimn Kyles 20:23
So good. Well, listen, this is a good place for us to start. We’re going to do a second part to this next week, what we’re going to talk about is how are our subconscious paradigms formed? Yes, I’m so extremely creative, because if we know how they’re created, then we can go back and evaluate how to create a new paradigm and a new filter for life. And so that’ll happen next week. So excited about it. A couple of things that we’re going to ask for you to do. If you’re enjoying this podcast, would you subscribe to it, let it come into wherever you consume your content week after week automatically, right? Then teach it right? We

Jolea Garza 20:58
want you to share this with somebody that you know, maybe a family member, maybe a friend, and just tell them about what you learned in this podcast episode. We know that when you teach, you also learn Yeah,

Jimn Kyles 21:08
you don’t have to give anybody any credit. Just teach it. Yeah, then we want you to engage in it. So don’t only teach it, make sure you actively here’s what I would say, do something today, to take one step forward so that you move your life in the right direction. We want you to then to participate. We’ve got a great online community. Join

Jolea Garza 21:25
us online, we have a Facebook group, a free Facebook community that we’d love for you to join. You can also follow us on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube. We’d love to connect. We’d love

Jimn Kyles 21:36
to connect with you. And then would you just share the podcast with one person today texted to one person and say, Hey, I’m this great podcast been helping me I believe it’ll help you. We sure love you. We’re grateful to be a part of this journey of helping you get unstuck and become unstoppable. We’ll see you next week. See ya.


More Episodes