Jimn Kyles

Unstuck & Unstoppable

024: Five Tips to Help You Communicate Like a Pro

Do you need to communicate in a public setting? Are you afraid of public speaking? We want to help you create messages that will bring a great impact on other people’s lives and in today’s episode, we will share five things that will help you effectively pull your message together.


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Jimn Kyles 0:13
Welcome to the unstuck and unstoppable podcast where we help you move your life forward. If you’ve ever needed to communicate in a public setting, but didn’t know how to effectively pull your message together so that you’ll reach people listen, you are listening to the right episode of our podcast today. My name is Jimn Kyles. And I’m here with

Jolea Garza 0:34
Jolea Garza is one of my favorite topics. Yes,

Jimn Kyles 0:38
we’re talking about effective communication on Well, I’m

Jolea Garza 0:41
super excited. You know, I’m a debate nerd. And so like, I grew up, you know, I eat sleep and breathe this. But I know for so many people, this is a huge struggle, something that people really definitely need some insight on.

Jimn Kyles 0:54
Yeah, absolutely. Well, we want to welcome you if you’re here for the very first time today. I think you’re gonna get a lot out of the podcast. Joe, it sounds like you’re a little bit under the weather.

Jolea Garza 1:03
Yeah, just a little bit. It is it? Well, no, it’s November. This is the season or stuffy noses. Yeah.

Jimn Kyles 1:10
Well, thank you for pushing through. It’s so funny. For those of you that are watching or listening. Joe was like, No, I got this. I’m like, I can do it by myself. She’s like, No, we got to teach people how to create messages that will bring great impact in their life. And so yeah, we love it. I love that you’re pushing through and just that you care that much. Absolutely. You know, we’re talking about public speaking. And for you and I, this is something that we do often. But it’s not something we’ve always done. No, we had to learn. It I know if you’re listening now, you could be thinking, well, you know, I’m not I’m not a pastor, I’m not someone that teaches or does large group settings. But the truth is, if you give a nugget, if you lead a team, if you have a staff, you’re constantly small groups, you’re giving nuggets, and the best thing to do is to walk into that environment prepared. Yes. I think the fun thing about a great communicator is that when you look at them, you think they just they just rolled that off. I wish I wish, you know, it’s like man that just came out? No, no, it’s just not. They’ve spent hundreds of hours crafting, working, developing. And even behind the scene for that meeting, I’m confident that they spent time doing some of the things we’re going to talk about is developers of

Jolea Garza 2:33
their I think they’re definitely people that have the gift of gab, you know, they can say great things, they can say a lot of things, you know, but there is such an art to speaking and communicating effectively. So really getting your message across and saying things well, and so I definitely think that there are some tools, some tactics that take years to learn and develop and refine. And so I feel like, it’ll be good to share some of those as well.

Jimn Kyles 2:58
And even though they take years to develop, you can actually implement them right now. I mean, that’s the cool thing about being an effective communicator is that every time you communicate, you get better. Yeah. And so that’s the goal is that, hey, I’m gonna get better now, public speaking is the number one fear is that right is in one of the

Jolea Garza 3:15
top phobias. 25% of Americans said that they fear public speaking, wow, more than heights more than more than death’s door. This takes 25% public speaking, and I do want to just clarify, like, maybe you you will never be, you know, giving a message or on a stage. But I think this applies to so many different, yes, you know, and, and leading a small group leading a meeting, you know, even all of those small things. And so I think that you’ll, you’ll be able to pull something out of this podcast,

Jimn Kyles 3:50
well, we got five, five things that we need to do as we craft a message so that it’s effective. So five tools, five tricks, five things. The first one is the message needs to be focused,

Jolea Garza 4:05
so good. It’s so important. So if you aim at

Jimn Kyles 4:08
everything, you’ll hit nothing. So the goal of communication is that you’re effective, that you’re not get information to someone, but you get it through, you get it inside of them. And so you ought to be able to write down in one sentence, what it is you’re trying to accomplish as you’re speaking. Yeah.

Jolea Garza 4:26
So I grew up with an English teacher as a mom, English professor. And so one of the things I know we love her, but one of the things she talks about is are you know, you’ll learn it in high school as a thesis. What is the one sentence that defines what you’re trying to get across? And that’s where you want to start? Because if you can just give us the one thing, what’s the one thing you want somebody to get out of? Then everything that you say, everything you write down all of your notes should all flow and fit into that one sentence.

Jimn Kyles 4:55
Yeah, and if you can’t communicate what you’re trying to communicate in one sentence, you won’t be able to come indicated in a five minute and 15 minute nugget or 30 Minute Message. Have you ever heard someone get up and speak? And you’re they might have had funny illustrations, right? They might even been engaging, but you walk out you say that was fun, but I didn’t. Yeah, like, wow, okay, well, cool. I went to a comedy

Jolea Garza 5:18
show. Yeah. And it’s so important just to know, like, we want clarity. And you want to be concise, right? Because that’s not that’s what takes it from just communicating something for to, to it being effective run effectively communicate well,

Jimn Kyles 5:30
and I thought the illustration if you want to put something visual with it, shotgun versus laser. Yeah, that’s great. So think about shotgun. Is this message a shotgun message? Or is it a laser message? And the laser ones were the ones who are gonna be the most effective? Absolutely. Second thing is it needs to be heart centered. So this is so powerful, because when you’re going to communicate that you got it, the best way to be effective, is to communicate with passion. Yep. So there has to be some passion with the message that you’re communicating. So someone will say, well, listen, I’m doing a safety briefing on communicating some dull, boring information. But the truth is, the information might be dull and boring. But your passion Yeah, to keep people so funny is real. Yeah. And so if you feel like it’s dull and boring, and then so are the people that are

Jolea Garza 6:24
listening. Yeah, you have to know what you’re sharing needs to come from the heart, I’d love to hear, you know, maybe give us an example of a time that you prepared to speak about something that you were not passionate about, versus a time where you’re like, this is this makes me come alive. I love sharing about it, and why that difference is so important.

Jimn Kyles 6:42
I think for me, it’d be hard to different to say, here’s a ton but here’s what I found that keeps the passion alive when I speak, is that when I’m going to communicate on a topic, and as a pastor, you know, we have topics that don’t necessarily like as a disciple, there are certain topics like you talk about reaching people, evangelism, leadership, those that. But then you talk about like, Hey, we’re gonna do a deep dive into the book of James, or we’re going to talk about even we did a whole series on legacy, which I love. But really, you’re teaching teaching, here’s what I’ve learned, what gives me the passion is that when I can go in, and really visualize the impact that this message can make in that person’s life, and the difference that it can make, it may not be my go to like, I’m an evangelist, I love people. And but my go to really, if I boil it down, is I want people to be impacted, to be changed and touched and live differently. And so I go and visualize the impact. So if you’re doing a safety briefing, right, visualize that if I’m effective in this briefing.

Jolea Garza 7:51
Yep. People won’t be safe. Yeah, you might hate the content. But as you’re sharing, just know, this is gonna save lives, right? It changes it, it changes how you communicate it,

Jimn Kyles 8:00
and there has to be just this heart centered, like, Man, I’m gonna, I just, I’m gonna wrap my arms around it, I’m going to embrace it. And then here’s what I know, too. If I can’t do that, I choose to not give a talk on that. Right? I’m gonna defer to someone else who might really come alive. Yeah. And so whatever situation that’s in, I just need to know, if it’s not heart centered, here’s what will happen. It’ll feel canned and hollow. Yes, it’ll feel like just information in formative. And that’s not transformational. That’s not, you know, transformative. So we want to make sure that when we’re working on a message, that we’re focused that the message is heart centered. And then the third thing is that we include stories and illustrations.

Jolea Garza 8:46
Oh, my gosh, this is the most most most important thing. Yeah, most important. So,

Jimn Kyles 8:50
illustrations and stories. This is what allows the audience to connect the facts and information to something that is a string in the heart. It’s heartfelt they can they understand that, hey, this relates to me. I gave a story Yes. Even Sunday talking about just my kids. Yeah. And how that one of my sons wanted to give as a as a young child, to God. And so we went and filled out the whole giving envelope. And for those of you that don’t go to church or don’t know anything about Christianity, we have an opportunity to give in church and so my son is learning about this. He’s five years old. And he says, Dad, I want to give and so he gives in what we have our giving centers, boxes, drops it in the box, we’re praying over it. I’m excited about it. And what what I found later that night is when me and Phyllis went to sleep had been celebrated. Yes, my son is excited about giving to God. He went and got the key right to the giving center out of the top drawer of my desk, and then went and unlocked it pulled his gift Oh,

Jolea Garza 10:00
Oh, give back. That’s hilarious. Oh my God while we

Jimn Kyles 10:03
were sleeping, and he said, Dad, I wanted to give, but I had second thoughts. And the whole point of that story and illustration was, I think there are a lot of people that want to be generous. And God is using them to give, whether it’s to the church, whether it’s to others, but we often have second thoughts just like my son. Yeah, we’ll see how that illustration now paints a picture. Oh, my goodness, everyone might have second thoughts. And it’s funny and it’s engaging. And, and that’s what stories and illustrations do. In fact, I heard a stat that you should give stories and illustrations. In fact, great communicators use the right side of the brain every eight minutes. Yeah, that every eight minutes there is a story or an illustration that re engages the listener back into what you’re talking Yeah,

Jolea Garza 10:55
I asked you this. If you’ve ever listened to a message if you’ve ever listened to a great talk. Yeah. Tell me what you remember. It’s so funny. I won’t even remember messages. And what I do remember what people do remember our stories. Last time I delivered a message even a couple of weeks ago, somebody came up to me, I was talking about skiing in Colorado, you weren’t here. But I was talking about skiing in Colorado, it’s been several months and somebody came up and they were like, I’m still cracking up about your story about skiing in Colorado, they probably don’t remember anything I spoke about preached about, remember the story. But stories carry weight because they are relatable, and they help connect the person to the topic you’re speaking about. And so even having a story, maybe you have a few points, having a story per point is so important. And the funny thing is, I don’t know about you, but to me finding illustrations is usually the hardest part

Jimn Kyles 11:50
of preparing a nugget. Absolutely, yes, the secret sauce. So you know, the nuts and bolts. And then what I do, and I’ll talk a little bit about it at the end is that’s that’s part of the marination portion of the message is you get the nuts and bolts, you get what you want to teach. And the story is just like the the extra this is like, Okay, this is what’s going to bring it home and then you trickle them all throughout. Yeah, that’s

Jolea Garza 12:12
one quick, you know, addition to this is what I would say is maybe you you know, you’ll be sharing, you know, in a few weeks or something like that, start compiling stories now. So I just have a note on my phone. And anytime something interesting happens, something different happens. I just pull up my phone, I make a quick note about it. And I catalogue it that way. The next time I need to share I have just a compilation of stories.

Jimn Kyles 12:36
So absolutely. Hey, so now we’re going into the fourth thing, and this is you gotta give him the how to. So whatever you’re talking about, don’t just give them a problem or a thought, yeah. And now give them a practical way that they can implement what you’re talking about. Right? And so really, you’re saying how to be generous how to live a life of generosity, how to whatever it is that you’re communicating. Now I’m gonna give the how to, and that leads into the next part, which is a clear call to action. Yep, yep. Number four. Yeah. So so I’m gonna give the how to, but then I’m gonna lead into, here’s the call to action. Yeah. Hey, so here’s how you do it. And I want to challenge you, that this week, do three things that will unlock the generosity of God in your life in the community. You

Jolea Garza 13:25
right? So it’s so it’s basically telling people how to apply what you’re telling them. That’s right. So so if you’re saying, Hey, this is an issue, and this is what, you know, people struggle with this and everything. Are you giving them something to walk out and say, Great, I know that was a struggle. But now I’m going to execute this, this and this and hopefully make a stride in that area.

Jimn Kyles 13:45
That’s right. Well, and then the last thing is this. It’s what I just said earlier, you’ve got to Now let the message marinate. Right? One of the greatest challenges in communication is developing content last minute, oh, that’s

Jolea Garza 13:59
so good. So it’s so

Jimn Kyles 14:01
often that we can find ourselves. It’s like the last thing because everything else in life pulls on you. Everything else draws for your attention. And then now you are you find yourself I’m walking into a meeting, I’m walking into a session, you know, a service or whatever it is. And now, here we find you’re like, I’m out of time. I didn’t actually let it marinate because I just wrote what it is that I’m about to say

Jolea Garza 14:26
winging it is great, but real preparation makes your communication effective. I think that’s so important. So you prepare a 30 minute message pretty much every Sunday of the year, if see what what is it 4444 42 times a year. So so how long does it take you each week to prepare? Yeah, that’s

Jimn Kyles 14:45
such a great question. I think when I first started, it was a lot. I’d spend probably 20 Something hours a week just preparing a message trying to go through it. The longer I’ve been doing it, it takes less and less time, right? And so what I find Now is that you’ve got to have the nuts and bolts of what you want to share. You got to have the plan. And then the framework allows you to meditate throughout the week throughout the month. That’s one of the reasons why I like series. You know, we do a lot of series, because then I can wrap my mind around ideas and thoughts that we can speak in three or four different sessions. And that allows me to come up with illustrations and stories and articles. And that’s what I want to challenge you with. If you find yourself knowing that you’re going to be communicating, start thinking about the topic that you’re sharing in. And as you read books, as you read magazines, as you listen to podcast, when you hear stuff, I’ve got a whole folder on my iCloud account, and it’s stories and illustrations. Then I got another one says messages. Yeah. And so like whatever message series we’re in, like, I just did one on legacy. There was probably 30 notes in there with legacy, just thought articles, ideas, that’s hard cast. Well, then when you go back to build the message, whatever it is you’re talking about, I’ve got a ton of resources where you’re not starting from from the ground up and scratch. And so I think that that allows you to prepare in advance and then the marinating, I think you need at least seven days to marinate, or at least you know, if you can’t get seven, get two to three, because what I find is I try to button up 90% of my message on Thursday, I’m off on Friday, and I still have Saturday, and then Sunday, and what I’ll find is that my day off on Friday, I’m not thinking about the message, but a message will pop up because I’m just in a relaxed mode, or a thought will pop up. And I’ll just jot it down. I don’t go to work. Just jot it down Saturday, I’ve been thinking about it thinking about it. And it allows the message to go deeper and to come out in a in a greater way of impact for people because it doesn’t feel so shallow, so hollow. But really there’s a depth because not only have I created the message, the message now starts working inside of me. Yeah, and

Jolea Garza 17:02
I think that’s so important. Take your time, that way you can take time like Friday to to rest. And it’s actually really really good when you have that day. Not working. So if your drive and drive and drive and and you prep, you know, four or five days in a row, the message no longer Have you ever sat there staring at that page and just saying it’s never gonna be perfect. I think that was the other thing I’ve learned is you can tweak and tweak and tweak and tweak and this is maybe even for my experience speakers, you can tweak it until the cows come home, it will never be exact, exact, exact. But what you want is for just have that extra day where it can just resonate, where you can simmer where you can sit with it, where you can maybe meditate on it. And then come back one final day, make some final tweaks and just fresh eyes fresh heart fresh perspective. And then hopefully it has marinated in sat in your heart enough that when you present it really just does come from your heart. It comes from a deeper level. Right?

Jimn Kyles 18:04
Yeah, you’ve wrestled with it. I think it’s important to wrestle with the message. Oh, yeah. Is it everything? Is it the right thing? Right? Is it what’s needed? You know, because what’s needed today might not have been needed three weeks ago, a month ago. And I think even even if you communicate the same message in different locations, you know, I’m often asked to speak in different churches, different environments, and not every environment, do I create brand new content, but every environment? I go in and ask God, what is it that I need to say in this environment. So what’s funny is the nuts and bolts tend to be the same. But sometimes illustrations change focuses change. And that’s how you can deliver basically the same thing in a different place and still have a great impact and not feel stale or static. And I hope this has helped you super, super glad I love talking about communication, love helping communicators. Again, whether you’re a public speaker, or you’re just talking to your staff or you’re just communicating to your family, you know, you’re doing some family nuggets, we do family Devo. It’s so good to dive deeper and learn how to craft messages that engage people and touch their hearts. So I hope it’s helped you. We look forward to spending more time with you like more information. We got great resources at Jimn kyles.com. Also, my book is out yet so excited. Just finished a book called unstuck and unstoppable same name as this podcast. And we’d love for you to go to Amazon. You go to Barnes and Nobles wherever it is that you purchase your books and you could buy it today. Let us know how it’s touching your life and impacting you. And until next time, bye bye


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