In this week’s episode, we’re going to move forward. We’re going to talk about paradigms, dry rots, and blowouts. We will learn to differentiate stuck versus stranded. We will also talk about what we can do so we do not settle.
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Jimn Kyles 0:00
Welcome to the unstuck and unstoppable podcast where we help you move your life forward. Now, if you’ve ever felt like you weren’t where you wanted to be at in life, maybe you haven’t achieved your goals or realize the dream that was in your heart. In other words, you have settled for less than God’s best for your life. Then you’re listening to the right episode of our podcast today. I’m Jimn kyles. I’m here with Jolea Garza.
Jolea Garza 0:24
Hey, I’m so excited to be here.
So good to be here. What Yeah, we have two great
Unknown Speaker 0:29
week, too. Last week was so great, man, I had such a great time. So much
Jimn Kyles 0:34
good feedback that we’ve gotten for people. We’re so pumped about being on this journey with you. The whole premise of our podcast is to help people get unstuck and become unstoppable. Did you know it’s estimated 80% of Americans today? Wow. feel like they’re stuck? Yeah, maybe they’re stuck in their finances, their marriage, maybe it’s their health or relationships, wherever it is. They just feel stuck. And we really believe that we want to come alongside of you, we’re going to help you get unstuck.
Jolea Garza 1:04
Yeah, this is such a journey. And we’ve gotten to walk through this journey. And so it’s so great to be able to take other people through this process. I think the pandemic specifically really revealed how easy it is to get stuck. And so I think that this is just such a great opportunity to help people take some next Yes,
Jimn Kyles 1:20
yeah. So if you’re joining us back from last week, welcome back. If you’re here for the very first time, we’re so thrilled to have you. We ended last week talking about the fact that you might be stuck. But with God, you’re never stranded. Yeah.
Jolea Garza 1:32
Yeah, it was great. We were really helping you identify where you get stuck. That’s right. But I thought that was great. I My favorite part was, you know, we always use never, and always were, that’s such a lightbulb moment for me of wherever in my life. I’m saying I never would, I would never do this, or I never will have this or I always do this. Those are places where you might be stuck,
Jimn Kyles 1:54
you might be stuck. In fact, we talked about multiple reasons why people get stuck. And so if you missed it, go back and listen to it. I know to bless you. Today, we’re really going to move forward. And we’re going to talk about paradigms, dry rots and blowouts and talking about stuck versus stranded. You know, when we talk about being stuck, stuck means to be held back, it means to be detained by circumstances. So an example of that might be my car is broken down, right. And I’m stuck until my wife picks me up. Right. So there’s circumstances that have detained me, but I’ve got an alternative to get around my circumstances. Yep. But stranded that’s, that’s a little bit different. That’s where you actually don’t have any other options. Yeah. And it’s hopeless. It’s without hope. Yeah. So an example might be you’re flying to New York. All the flights are canceled and all the rental cars have been rented.
Jolea Garza 2:47
I think some people have experienced this. I think I’ve heard I had friends in Florida. They got stuck at the airport. Yeah. You know, I think about some of the times where I’ve been, you know, in, in traffic Have you ever been in where it’s just a complete standstill? People are out on the street and kind of walking around trying to stretch their legs. Great, you know, a great visual of what that might feel like for people
Jimn Kyles 3:13
who you are without hope so. But But I want you to realize that in life with God, you’re never without hope. Yes. And that’s where we want you to know that you may be in a place today that you didn’t intend to be in, but you don’t have to stay there. There is hope that God gives us the ability to move our life forward. And we don’t have to move forward in giant leaps. Yes, so good. That’s a couple steps. Just a couple of maybe one step. Yeah. You know, I love James clears book, atomic habits. And he just talks about the 1% principle, like, Hey, I just want to be 1% better today than I was yesterday, and other percent better tomorrow than it was today. And that’s really the key. The key is I’m just going to take steps to move my life forward so that I can eventually get to where God has called me
Jolea Garza 3:59
to be. And that’s the shift. You know, last week, we talked about those never and always statements. I think the biggest deal is shifting those statements and being able to say, you know, I may be in the situation right now, but I have a plan from the board or I’m going to get out of this. It removes the the idea that we’re stranded in situations. I think it gives you hope to know we’re never stranded. Absolutely,
Jimn Kyles 4:22
yeah. Well, I’ve reminded Phyllis and I love to go to the beach. My wife loves anything with sun.
Jolea Garza 4:29
Yeah, water. Welcome to summer in Texas.
Jimn Kyles 4:33
Well, we were headed out to Galveston and I remember a time it was just recently happened for about a year or so ago and we were going to spend a week at the beach cabin that we had rented out and Filipina we’re gonna go a couple of days early and have some me time yeah, no kids get up there. Yeah. So we loaded up the trailer. We are headed out. We’re going through Houston. Anybody knows the surrounding area of Houston. We are going down by We ate and headed down to 45 south over to Galveston. And on the trip we didn’t get any further than 10 miles away from the road or from our house and our trailer has a tire that blows up.
Jolea Garza 5:11
Oh my gosh.
Jimn Kyles 5:12
I mean, it’s not like a little flat like, no, no, it’s like explosion. That’s probably
Jolea Garza 5:17
my worst nightmare. These highways are high and he
Jimn Kyles 5:21
explodes. The truck is shaken. We pull over to the side of the road and thinking oh my goodness, no big deal. We’ll call the roadside service to help us. We call them get them out. And then we put the new tires that was up there was not the new tire but it’s the spare tire. Right right has never been driven before. That should be perfect. We put it on and replace it. We’re heading back out. No more than 10 miles down the road. That tire explodes Wow. blows up. So now we are on this side of the road having had two flats. It’s Memorial Day weekend.
Jolea Garza 5:56
Oh my gosh,
Unknown Speaker 5:56
it’s six o’clock. So all the tire shops are closing, we finally got in touch with his mom and pop tire shop. We take off the spare. We head over there. They said we got one tire and they had a special force. They had a used tire that we could buy for $40 and I’m like yep alrighty
Jolea Garza 6:14
40 dollar. I’ll
Jimn Kyles 6:15
take whatever it was only place we could find Okay, Joe, we put the tire on didn’t even inspect the tire. We’re just happy you got a tire funny. We put it on the trailer and there is a gash where you can see all the threading the wire mesh, it was $40 What do you do? What was I thinking? Well, it was on the inside. So it was hidden. And I realized we’re not gonna get any further we’ll have a third blowout, right. So we’re sitting on the side of the road. We’re like, what are we gonna do? Now? It’s seven, eight o’clock at night. Phyllis has a brilliant idea. She said let’s go eat at Papa Cetus. Yep, great Mexican place here. fixes everything. Let’s make some phone calls. We finally nine o’clock find a 24 hour roadside assistance that would come out and give us some brand new tires for the trailer while we were eating. Come on.
Jolea Garza 7:07
Come on. That’s awesome. Lo and behold
Jimn Kyles 7:09
by 10 o’clock they change all the tires were headed out. We get to the beach cabinets like midnight. But in that process. What was so interesting is I was sitting there Papa cetus, and I told Phyllis, I’m like, Hey, we don’t have to go to the beach. Right? Like, look, we’re in Houston. Yeah, no, not home. We did. We go into a hotel. Yes. All these places around here. Like, let’s go somewhere. And let’s just sit and figure this out. And she was like, No, baby, we’re getting to the beach. So she had the determination. And what I realized was that I could have settled in a place that I was intended to pass through. Wow, that houston wasn’t our destination. Yeah, but we had some blowouts. And those blowouts caused us some delay. And then the delay caused us to have some doubts. And we almost didn’t make it to the destination.
Jolea Garza 7:59
Man. I just love this illustration. It’s so great. Because that’s you are a perfect example of what we often do in our lives. You know, we’re, we’re doing okay, we’re moving down the roads, and then a few bad things happen. And, and maybe it’s a, I don’t know if it’s a fight or flight or a way to protect ourselves or whatever, it is a way to survive or like, well, we’ll just stay right here. We’ll make more changes. Don’t move anything forward with survival more in survival mode. That’s the word rent survival mode. So stay right here. That’s exactly what you did.
Jimn Kyles 8:31
Absolutely. Do. And it’s justified. Right? We could have stayed in Houston, and then nobody would have thought worse or that we would have missed the place that was already paid for. We would have missed the experience. Yeah, we got there late. But we got to experience the sun. Sunrise. Got to experience the whole day out in the water. Yeah. And so what we realized was the blowouts were caused by dry, rotted tires. We went back to try to figure it out. Tires look perfect. But the trailer had not been driven in more than a year, and the tire set stagnant. And though they look good on the outside, what had happened was dry rot set on the inside. Wow. And the thing about dry rot is what causes those tires to explode is heat and pressure. And so when you’ve got a loaded down trailer, and you’re going 70 miles an hour, that high pressure causes the dry, rotted tires to explode. Yeah. And I wonder how many of us over the last couple of years walking through this global pandemic walking through this global crisis? Right. have had some blowouts. Yeah. And you just think well, because just here’s what we know. Like I’ve had people say, man COVID caused my marriage problems. That’s not That’s not true. Yeah. COVID doesn’t cause your marriage problems. COVID exposes
Jolea Garza 9:51
and that’s the that’s the deal. It’s the dry rot was already there. It’s already under the surface. All COVID did was it applied some heat and pressure due to our lives and it exposed stressful event that we’ve probably walked through for a majority of people. And so then it starts to expose brokenness. Pain hurts that were already there. We just hadn’t had to deal
Jimn Kyles 10:12
with some relational, some financial, some health. Yeah, you know, and how many of you had your kids staying home with you? First? We talked a little bit about last weekend, or last last episode how that what? Here we are, we thought it was gonna be a vacation. We’re hanging out with our kids and our spouse. For the first week or two. It’s all good. Second, third week, you’re like, whose kid? Is that? Right? Why that ain’t my kid. That’s her child. And then
Jolea Garza 10:39
my teachers do not get paid enough. Oh, my gosh, what do we do? Yes, the
Jimn Kyles 10:43
deficiencies are parenting. And here’s how you keep dry rot from happening on a tire. It’s maintenance. It’s simple, regular maintenance. And so when you have a marriage, you gotta maintain your marriage so good. When you have relationship with your kids or your parents who are you gotta maintain that financially. You got to maintain
Jolea Garza 11:05
and you have to you have to grow grow. Yeah, maintenance growth, too. There’s there’s always something that you can do better or do to learn and grow. Otherwise,
Jimn Kyles 11:12
you’re gonna have the blowout, right. And then once you have the blowouts, I think recognizing, okay, man, my marriage went through a tough season. How am I going to make sure that we don’t settle in a place God intended for us to pass through?
Jolea Garza 11:24
And that I love that. So going back to your story, one of the things that I thought is it you were also just settling for good enough, right? That, that that’s what blowouts. Do you’re you’re so traumatized by the marriage issues that you finally get through, get through you guys are doing okay, everybody’s talking. Nobody’s throwing things at each other. So it’s just not pointing fingers not saying anything about anybody. But just saying it once everything is good. Once Once everything just feels just fine. We settle for good enough. And that’s where we can get stuck. Because Absolutely. It’s good. It’s good enough. It’s good enough. Good enough. That’s
Jimn Kyles 12:05
right. It’s good enough. Yeah. It’s not where God wanted me to be or where I wanted to be. But it’s good. It’s better than where I was. Yes. Yeah, I think you’re absolutely right. Even with your career, you could talk about every physical health, right? You know, how many times have we settled? We’re like, hey, well, my blood pressure has come down a little bit. Right. So I’m pretty good. You know, but are you really healthy? Are you really taking care of your body? About your mind? Like, I know, you read once a year, a book a year, what about, you know,
Jolea Garza 12:32
one book a week hearing? I read my book a year, but I got it. That was a challenge for me this year to I don’t want to just be somebody who reads a couple books a year, like I want to constantly constantly learning new information. And so that was a big one for me. It’s not, I’m not okay, with good enough there.
Jimn Kyles 12:52
Well, better than everybody else is not the standard, wow, I don’t want to be better than everybody else. I want to be my best self. I want to be the best person that I could possibly be that God’s called me to be. And I’m not going to settle in a place that God intended for me to pass through. So I thought about how do we not settle? There’s a couple of things. Right. So first thing is you got to make a quality decision to move forward. Wow, a quality decision to move forward. So, you know, just like you’d make a quality decision and and ever in any area of your life. I think people don’t move forward because they make decisions, but they’re not real quality decision, right? So true to hope, I hope to be better tomorrow, I wish to be better,
Jolea Garza 13:35
right? So. So it’s really sitting down at planning actually putting goals, you know, so for financial, I use something called every dollar, that’s Dave Ramsey’s app, if I want to get better at my finances, I should be budgeting monthly. It’s just saying, oh, you know, I want to stop spending so much, or whatever it is, you have to take actual steps to build up
Jimn Kyles 13:54
your 100%. Right? Well, if someone said, Hey, I am not living the life I want to live, I’d say well, what area do you want to focus on? Right? And so if they said, I want to focus on my career, I hate my job. My question is, what do you want to do? Right? Well, okay, I want to be a photographer. Well, what do you do I work at a refinery or I work at a, you know, some kind of an office job. Okay. My question would be, What steps are you taking right now to become the best photographer, so that people want to pay you to do what you love to do. Right? And so it’s it’s what what is it that’s in your heart? And where do you want to go? And then What steps are you taking? Do you have a path? Otherwise, it’s just wishful thinking? Yeah, I had someone tell me the other day, I’m gonna buy a beautiful house one day and I said, Great. Well, what’s your plan? Well, they said, Well, God’s gonna bless me. I said, Well, he may bless you, but you won’t be able to keep it right? Because you’ve got to know okay, if I’m gonna buy a house or rental property, maybe your goal is you’re listening right now. And you’ve got a job you’re working, your spouse is working. You’re working on your investment portfolio, you want to buy some real estate, I invest in real estate, my question be okay, what’s the next step for you to buy a rental property? What’s the next step look like? Well, okay, you got to start identifying the market, you got to start saving money for the down payment, you gotta learn about that the options of financing. So you’re working a plan, or at least developing the plan to work so that you can get to the life that you have always dreamed of the life that God wants you to live.
Jolea Garza 15:28
Yeah. And I always think, you know, when you’re making a quality decision, I think that first step of of even deciding this is the step that I want to take what what separates it from just being a wish or a hope is is the motivation behind it? I think you’re why truly binds, you know, you shared even with the investment that you want each of your children to have something to call their own. And so that’s a good why that’s right. There’s no motivation behind it. You can say I want to work out until you’re blue in the face. I want to work out because I’m gonna live till I’m nine years old, there’s, there’s,
Jimn Kyles 15:59
there’s what’s the why the motivation? Oh, you’re the motivation is what keeps you doing it when? When everything else says to quit? Yeah. And if you don’t have a good, why, then you will fall away. It’s like it, because we all come in to speed bumps and roadblocks. I mean, that’s just a normal part of life. So how is it that my life is gonna move forward one step at a time. And then the thing that gets me up in the morning, the thing that makes me stay up late, what is the what I think part of the why to is legacy? Yes. Those that are coming up after us. I know, for me, my kids, you mentioned real estate, Phyllis and I invest in real estate, and I’ve got a goal of X amount of properties. And part of what’s funny, you were saying to give them a house? And that’s because we give all of our money away. Right? Right. We bless different ministries and organizations. And so I just told my kids, if you get an inheritance for me, I’m gonna have to just give you there’ll be something because I will give all my money away before I die.
Jolea Garza 16:55
Yeah. And I think about legacy, too. You know, I recently shared just a photo I, I have a great grandmother, who to my children is their great, great grandparent. And so I took a photo of her and then of my great grandfather, a picture of him who he’s passed away. But just to think about all of the work that they put in their pastors, they have their own church, well, they had businesses own rental properties, they were trailblazing right way, right, when a lot of odds were stacked against them. But what it did for me it was it helped me realize that their legacy, all of the work that they did their choice to not be stuck in a place where most people said that they probably should never get out of is what has propelled me. And that’s what I want to do for my family
Jimn Kyles 17:38
perpetuating the legacy. Yeah, so they built a platform. Yep. And you want to make sure that you launch off of that platform to build a platform. Yeah, your kids do. And that’s exactly right. And, and even just, I think part of the why is we’re gonna stand one day before God. And he’s gonna say, What did you do with what I gave you? And the question is going to be to us alone, it’s not going to be to your spouse, it’s not gonna be to your parents not gonna be to your children, it’s to us. And there’s an obligation and a responsibility for us to say, God, I did everything that I could possibly do. And I wanted to bring you glory with my life. And then we talked about moving forward, but I think you got to take it just one step forward.
Jolea Garza 18:20
Yeah. That’s the whole goal. This is just just one step. All steps.
Jimn Kyles 18:24
Half the battle is just showing up. Yeah. James clears book, atomic habits you hadn’t read. It’s fantastic. But it’s one of the books that I read a while back. That helped me really start my my workout. Journey. Yeah, if you will, probably when I hit 40 and 45 now, but when I turned 40, I just realized that if I don’t take care of myself in my body, that we’re not gonna be around for much longer. And I began, I love what he talked about is half the battle just showing up. See, when when I tried to get into the fitness game and try to get all in shape, I would go in and try to grind for hours every day, right? And what I learned is for the first 30 days, it doesn’t even matter how hard I work. But just that I show up to work. Yeah. And there was something about that, that the first day, it may only be five minutes, second day, maybe 10. The 10 day may only be five minutes. There were a couple of days that I actually just showed up at the gym, walked in, ran for five to seven minutes and then left. Yeah,
Jolea Garza 19:24
but there’s so much power in that. Saying it for me is to stop buying the workout equipment on Amazon. Building the plan, like I have 15 workout plans. Just go just
Jimn Kyles 19:33
go so I just show up. Yeah, because I think sometimes we are so hard on ourselves when half the well then what happens is week three, week four, week five now you have built a lifestyle, right? It’s not about how much you did. It’s about the consistency of what you did, right? And that’s where I want to encourage those of you that you’re listening right now and you’re like man, I I am stuck in this area, whatever area it is, find steps to Start taking just just read a book, listen to this podcast, hey, go online at Jimnkyles.com, we actually have a free resource for you. It’s an ebook. Yeah. And it’s help, I’m stuck. We’re gonna help you discover why you might be stuck, and then to start taking some steps forward right to get unstuck. And that’s what you want to do is just what am I going to do every day to focus on this one area? And here’s how I would decide on what area to focus on. Here’s the question, what area of my life that if I focused on it would bring the greatest change? That’s great. What’s one area of my life that if I focused on it, would bring the greatest amount of change in my life? And then make that the place and say, Look, I’m gonna move one step forward every single
Jolea Garza 20:45
day. Yeah. And I think that’s so important not to get so fired up that you’re trying to change everything all at once. That’s an easy path to burn it out. Oh, yeah, you know, but to pick just one place, tackle that area, and then go to the next. I think it’s the most impactful way to walk through this
Jimn Kyles 21:02
100%. Well, we want to encourage each of you that you’re listening today, that this would be a week that you take steps to move your life forward. I’m going to encourage you to do a couple of things. Number one, subscribe to the podcast. Each week, we will work hard to get you quality content that will help your life move forward. Secondly, I want to encourage you with this teach Yeah, teach someone what it is that you’ve learned today. When you teach it, it actually learn it better. Yeah. And then next thing is I want you to engage, engage what you learned and apply it to your life today. Don’t wait till tomorrow, how can I engage one thing that I learned today, and make sure that I activate the knowledge that I’ve learned? And then I want you to participate? Would you come in and join our online community, Facebook, Jolea,
Jolea Garza 21:49
unstuck and unstoppable Facebook group, we’d love for you to join. That’s where we’ll be sharing tidbits and opening it out for the group to discuss and talk through these different areas of their lives. Yeah, cuz
Jimn Kyles 21:59
everybody needs to have community. Yeah, we want to have people on our journey, we’re going to help you with that. So you can go to Facebook, also on social media through Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, join us there, we’d love to join you in your journey. And then the last thing I’m gonna ask you to do is just share this podcast with two to three people that you know, might benefit from the content that, hey, maybe they’re stuck, you’re gonna help them say, hey, look, I listen to this podcast. And I would love for you to listen to it with me. And I really believe it’d be a blessing to you. And then don’t forget about the help. I’m stuck ebook on the website. So go download it. It’s our gift to you. We want to help you on your journey. We’re excited next week. We’ll we’ll bring some more great quality content. Looking
forward to it. It’s gonna be great. All right, we’ll see you later. Bye.