In today’s episode, we will help diagnose why you are stuck. Then, we ask questions you can use to evaluate and reflect on your life. Through this, you can determine the areas you need to focus on and start moving your life forward one step at a time.
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Jimn Kyles 0:00
Welcome to the unstuck and unstoppable podcast where we help you move your life forward. Look, if you have ever felt stuck in life, maybe it’s your marriage. Maybe it’s your finances. Maybe it’s career or maybe it’s your family might even be your personal health and wondered how in the world did I get stuck? Look, you’re listening to the right episode of our podcast today. I’m your host Jimn Kyles. I’m here with Jolea Garza. Hello. Hello. We are so thrilled to be with you. It’s going to be a great podcast today.
Jolea Garza 0:33
Yeah, I’m excited man to dive into all of this. Yeah. Oh,
Jimn Kyles 0:36
man. I have been waiting for this podcast to launch at the
Jolea Garza 0:40
moment is finally here. Oh, it’s here.
Jimn Kyles 0:43
Well, in today’s gonna be a great episode we’re talking about Have you ever felt stuck? How did I get here?
Jolea Garza 0:48
Yes. And I’m raising my hand right here as we talk. Because, yeah, Raise them high, because I have felt stuck.
Jimn Kyles 0:56
Oh, absolutely. My goodness. I’m sure you’re listening. And you’re thinking I feel stuck. And I just want you to know you’re okay. Right. It’s normal. Yeah, you’re there’s nothing wrong with you. That’s just life. Life happens. And we feel stuck. And, you know, 80%, it’s estimated 80% of Americans feel stuck. Wow. I mean, can you imagine that? I’m thinking about the person right now. They’re listening. Both both spouses are working, they’ve got careers. They’ve got families. So they got one, two, maybe three kids, and they’re juggling life, all the responsibilities of going to church, they got extracurricular activities, like doesn’t slow down, right. And in whatever area that they’re in, in life, that they feel stuck. It’s like life keeps moving. But that area doesn’t move. Right.
Jolea Garza 1:43
It’s so interesting. I love that because it’s almost an oxymoron, life is moving forward. And somehow, I feel stuck. Life does not stop. It’s moving full steam ahead. And somehow I feel stuck. And I think this is just such a relevant topic for this time. And for this day and age. You know, I remember, you know, sitting in an office a few years back, probably four to five years back and telling my boss and this is a while ago, but telling my boss, I feel stuck. And I do not want to be stuck. No. And so we’ve all been
Jimn Kyles 2:16
we’ve all been lace. Oh 100%. Well, and what’s interesting about feeling stuck is you can be moving forward in three areas of your life and feel stuck in one. Yeah. You know, in some certain areas, maybe, maybe marriage is doing good, your family’s doing good. But you’re you’ve got a flat tire in your finances.
Jolea Garza 2:31
Come on, I always think about we used to do this, this, this deal called the wheel of life. So the wheel of life is this great personal life evaluation, where you sit down and you rate different areas of your life. So money and marriage and, and health and friendships. And usually, you know, everything is an eight or a 10. Yeah, it’s doing really great. And then you have that one. So one, and it puts it makes you put that all on a wheel. And you’ll look at it and a lot of times you’re like, Man, I got a flat tire, got a flat tire just won. This car don’t drive this car is not driving because I’m stuck in one area.
Jimn Kyles 3:10
Well, and it’s interesting how we tend to focus on that area that’s negative, right? You know, it’s like, hey, all these other areas, but my life is a disaster.
Jolea Garza 3:20
Calling me out.
Jimn Kyles 3:22
Well, and I think it’s normal. I think what I want you to hear is it’s normal. Yeah. There’s nothing wrong with you. Life happens. And what we’re going to do today is, I really want to help you get unstuck by finding out why is it that I might be stuck? Yeah. And so today, I’ve got some great content, some things that, that I really think that you as the listener if you’ll if you’ll apply them and really reflect on some of these questions, and evaluate your life, right? I really think you’re gonna walk out of here really saying, cool. I think I’ve diagnosed at least the direction to where I can focus and start to move my life forward, at least one step. And that’s, and that’s really our goal. Yeah, we’re never just to be we never think this podcast is going to totally revolutionize your life. But can we move forward? 1%.
Jolea Garza 4:10
And I think, you know, just just like you said, this is a diagnosis podcast. But I hope it inspires you to keep listening week after week, because we have some great content, but you can’t move forward, if you don’t know that there’s an issue. So right now, we’re going to help you pinpoint those areas in your life where maybe you might Oh, absolutely.
Jimn Kyles 4:27
Well, you know, even a couple of years ago, all that we went through, we had this global phenomenon that caused all of us to stay home, it totally challenged and changed the way we did life. And one of the things that and this is going into the first thing that could cause you to get stuck is, you know, we went into it. I personally went into it with the wrong mentality. Wow. March of 2020. I remember, we get the privilege of leading an organization. It’s really a church and telling everybody Hey, we’ll be back in a couple of weeks. Let’s He just got a little yes here in Texas. And it’ll be in five months. Yeah. And I went into that social distancing. I went into that with the wrong mentality. Yeah. And so I thought, hey, two weeks is a big K.
Jolea Garza 5:14
Yeah, we’re working so hard. And it’s like, man, we can just stop grinding. I don’t have to drive. It was so nice
Jimn Kyles 5:22
to be here with my kids. Like, we don’t have family time. But then that two weeks turned into five months. And what I realized was, I went into it with the wrong mentality. I had a vacation mentality. And I began to really struggle in some areas like personal discipline. Oh, yeah, I was getting up early five o’clock every morning, working out every day had been known that for years, well, if I’m on vacation, with the mentality of vacation, I don’t do that night. And I’m sure you don’t either. But for me, I go on vacation. I’m not getting up early. I’m not eating healthy, right? I’ve got four kids, but on vacation, I don’t even know where my kids are,
Jolea Garza 6:05
I don’t know, have they eaten? We don’t know.
Jimn Kyles 6:09
They’re like, Hey, where are they? I don’t know, as long as they’re breathing and alive, right? But you can’t live that way. That’s a vacation mentality. It’s a relaxed mentality. And when we get in that mentality in an area of our life, we begin to make bad decisions and bad choices. And then one decision becomes a habit, you know, day after day after day after day, and some of the disciplines that I had, and have had my whole life that served me so well went out the door.
Jolea Garza 6:39
Yeah, it’s so funny. I think in you can correct me, but is it 21 days to make a habit? And what maybe five seconds to undo that consistent consistency? The consistency is a struggle definitely
Jimn Kyles 6:51
doesn’t take Yeah, yeah, you can work out for months and months and months, and then take two or three weeks off, and you feel like you’re starting back from the very beginning. Yeah. So the first area or way that we get stuck is think about your your life, whether it’s your career, maybe it’s maybe it’s your family disciplines, maybe, maybe it’s the marriage, maybe it’s finances, whatever it is, where have you begun to have the wrong mentality? Where did it change? And if you can diagnose that and say, Man, maybe, maybe I had one mentality, and then something happened and it changed over time? Or maybe it changed in a moment, right? Well, then you can begin to say, okay, that vacation mentality is going to cause me to get stuck in that area of my life. I love proverbs 2528. You know, if you ever read the Bible, I know many of our listeners may or may not be Christians. I’m a Christian. I’m actually a pastor and get the privilege of pastoring a great church. But I love the Proverbs and Proverbs written by Solomon, the wisest man who’s ever lived is Proverbs 2528. Listen to what it says it says a man without self control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
Jolea Garza 8:07
Wow, guard completely down crazy.
Jimn Kyles 8:11
So it’s like without self control with the wrong mentality. So so maybe it is a mentality of leisure, where you just you wouldn’t you let go of the discipline, and you start instead of reading books or watching television, instead of getting up, you’re sleeping late, instead of going on a date with your spouse, come on somebody
Unknown Speaker 8:31
like we’re in the house together.
Jimn Kyles 8:36
Yeah, and so, or maybe the workflow has become excessive, and you let that date night go, yeah, or the family time go? Well, after three weeks, and four weeks and five week, no wonder your marriage is drifting. I wonder your family is becoming dysfunctional. It’s because of the wrong mentality that you’re living with. Now, the discipline that you had before, has not carried over to the way that you’re living right now. So that’s the first thing is making decisions in life with the wrong mentality that will cause you to get stuck. The second thing that will cause you to get stuck is when you let your guard down, and you compromise your standards. So one is the mentality. And then the second is, look, I’m letting my guard down. I begin to compromise standards. Sometimes this happens gradually. You don’t even realize it, you know, about a year and a half ago when all of the lockdown started. And we were in, you know, social distancing and physical isolation. I remember when they began to lift the ban, I had a doctor’s visit right on the calendar, went to the doctor need to get some blood work, just a regular routine bloodwork done. And I went and checked in at the very front of the doctor’s office, and nobody was in the waiting room. So I’m good. I’ve got my mask on and I sit down she says, Sir, just sit down the doctor. See you in a few moments or a few minutes. I’m like, Cool, no big deal. I’m watching some dumb show. on the television, you always have play. And then all of a sudden a guy walks into the doctor’s office and he checks in at the very front, and the whole office is empty. Yeah, nobody’s in the waiting room, he checks in and she says, Sir, you can have a seat. That man came and sat right beside me,
Unknown Speaker 10:18
not in the middle of a pandemic metal.
Jimn Kyles 10:20
It was so crazy. But and here’s what I realized in all of it is that I begin in that moment to be nervous and afraid. And I actually got offended when I actually said, You know what? I can’t. Now I didn’t say this out loud. I’m like, I cannot believe he sat right beside me out of the whole entire waiting room. Yeah, well, think about it just a couple of months earlier, before all of this locked down and the global pandemic, that would have been nothing you would know. In fact, I would have welcomed it. Because I’d have somebody to talk to instead of watching this dumb television,
Jolea Garza 10:55
I love making friends in the doctor’s office. And I’m always starting conversations. That’s so so interesting, what a shift that was, well, here’s
Jimn & Jolea 11:03
what I realized, I begin to let my guard down and fear began to dominate my life. And I didn’t even realizing now I’m all about making wise decision and using good judgment. But if we’re not careful, people, society situations, can cause us to walk in fear, doubt, anxiety, depression. And so we’re letting this guard down where I wouldn’t have, I wouldn’t have been afraid I wouldn’t have allowed fear to begin to dominate and ruin my life. And it’s one of the greatest challenges that I have seen over the last year and a half is the fear that people are walking in, right, we’re afraid to go out we’re afraid to. And so we feel like isolation actually brings safety and security. But isolation actually brings destruction, right? We were never intended to live life alone. We were never intended to be by ourselves, with ourselves, living life for ourselves. And so we let our guards down. And I think when we get stuck, where did you let your guard down? Yeah, where did you begin to compromise the standards in your life where you would hold to a standard and then it’s like, well, it’s not that big of a deal. Maybe you worked out every single day? And you said no, yeah, I could do it every every every you know three to five times and then three to five comes to one to two. And then you just compromise and the next thing you know you are now in a place that you never thought you would be or wanted to
Jolea Garza 12:33
be I think about the word intentionality tend to No, I think intentionality is the word for, for what happens when we let our guard down. Because it before maybe you were intentional about getting up early and not sleeping, you know going to bed late. And now it’s just the all of the intentionality that led me to have the standards that I had told those things, even maybe speaking daily affirmations of your life or, or maybe it was your Bible study or your quiet time in the morning. And as you are less intentional, the guard comes down and the steroid changes.
Jimn & Jolea 13:04
Yeah, well, in here, the path of least resistance people just hey, I just want to drift. Well, the problem with drifting is you’re subject to the environment, right? So you never just want to drift. You’re never going to drift to success, right? You’re never gonna drift to your goals. You’re never going to drift to God. Yeah, you have to be intentional. You have to move your life there has to be a real intentionality about your life and where you’re going. And so maybe just gotta evaluate where have I lost? It’s such a great word, the intentionality of my life. The third way we become stuck. And look, there’s lots of other ways. Hey, and all of this is in an ebook that we have for free. Yeah. And it’s on the website, Jimnkyles.com. If you go the website, Jimnkyles.com, we want to put it in your hands. It talks about how to not get stuck, and then a plan to move forward to get unstuck. But the third thing is, we become relationally. disconnected from God and from others. Hmm. In that in that interesting, yeah, you know, I said it and alluded to it earlier that we were in God created us to live in relationship. We’re relational beings. Nobody ever thrives in isolation. But somehow, through this whole global pandemic, though, we were connected through technology, really, we became very isolated.
Jolea Garza 14:21
Right? I love one of the things that you always say, where society was saying socially distant, but really, it was a physical distancing. But when you say social distance, it means cut off relationships, cut off physical contact, and everything in between breaks this down. Oh, it
Jimn Kyles 14:37
was well, it was one of the things that broke my heart because you kept hearing social distance, social distance, but really what they meant was just physical distance. Yeah. But intuitively and in our mind, subconsciously, social distancing is just a constant visual of us isolating ourselves from society from one another, right? And we saw the effects of that depression is up in a greater rates than ever before suicide is up in greater rates than ever before. Yep. Divorces up in credit which, which is ironic, right? Because you spend more time with your spouse than ever before. Yeah, right. And yet, what we found was we had people say, hey, COVID caused all kinds of marriage problems, but COVID didn’t call it marriage problems. You already had them COVID exposed your marriage. Yeah.
Jolea Garza 15:23
And I think to the fact that everybody was isolated to maybe just the people that they were in relationship with, you know, the Bible talks over and over again about our need. For other people. It says, confess your sins, one to another. And so when you’re having marriage problems, and you’re isolated, and you’ve gotten out of the habit of going to a friend or going to a family member, or going and getting in community at church, then where do you go? That’s right, who do you talk to? And how do you work through? How do you work through so
Jimn Kyles 15:53
well, and that’s, that’s the challenge is when you get disconnected, you don’t have a bridge to hope. And let me just speak to the god factor for me. Again, I realized there’s people and whether you’re a believer or not, we believe that God created us that he intended for us to have a relationship with Him. And if we get disconnected as a believer from God, it’s so easy for me to get stuck because I’m doing it in my my power, my, my thoughts and my ways. And the truth is God has a plan and a purpose for my life. He’s got a plan and a purpose for each and every one of your lives. As you’re listening. And some of you, you know what I’m talking about, you had a relationship with God, and somehow you got relationally disconnected, and you found yourself stuck. Yeah. And so what you’ve got to do is find your way back to God. Yeah. And it’s so simple. You just pray God, I want to have a relationship with you, God, I want to come back to you begin to pray, read your Bible, get involved in a community of believers. And then what will happen, you’ll see your life begin to move forward in the direction that God has for you to move forward with. I think about it like this. You know, we’ll have some mapping apps on our phone and a couple a couple. Yeah, you got Google Maps. I use Waze. Waze will take you down some back roads, it sure will. But it gets you like 30 seconds fast. You may hit.
Jolea Garza 17:12
So strategic, I’m like, Give me all ways I can get there faster. Yeah.
Jimn Kyles 17:15
Well, have you ever used it and found yourself in a place where there was no cell phone service? In that the worst? You know, it doesn’t happen as often now. But there’s been a couple of times where I am. I’m lost without ways. And then it says there’s no cell phone, certainly
Jolea Garza 17:31
Jimn Kyles 17:34
world. And so now I’m lost. And I’m thinking, Oh, my God, I don’t even know where to go. I don’t know what to do. Well, what happened? Waze just got disconnected from the source. And that’s like our life. And you’ll keep going in the direction you think it’s supposed to go. But you just get disconnected from God. Is that No, no, we were supposed to take the turn back there. Yeah, that’s such a great Elon. So we’ve got to find our way back to God and find our way back to others find our way back to the friends and the family. Don’t allow a fence to separate you from the ones that God put in your life that people that love you that care about you. The enemy will try to again, isolate you so that he can destroy you. And so we become relationally distant, think about you know, as you’re listening to this, have you become disconnected from God? Have you become disconnected from others? Wow. And then those are some of the relationships, your work and maybe maybe you’re listening and you’ve never had a relationship with God to begin with, right? Well, I want you to know that you can begin that today right now. And just pray a prayer God, I need you and just get connected with God, go to our website, we’ve got some great resources, love to get you connected. Then the fourth thing is that we get stuck because we believe the lie of the enemy. So the enemy we the devil, he seeks to destroy alive, John 10;10 says he’s come to steal, kill and to destroy. But I love the back half of that scripture says, But God has come that you might have life and life more abundantly. But the lie of the enemy will say things like your marriage will never. Your kids will never your finances will never you’ll always be broke. You’ll always be poor. Wow, you’ll always be single, you know, my health will never Wow, my career will never like all those are the lies of the enemy. Yeah. And so you’ve got to expose where you have this broken record. Maybe Maybe God sends a relationship into your life. And instead of embracing it, you’re you’re skeptical it’s like well, I’m just waiting for them to hurt me right
Jolea Garza 19:31
and it’s almost it’s those never an always where it’s no wonder we feel no wonder we feel stuck. Yeah, I wonder how many times maybe you’ve, you’ve made the same mistake and then you begin to say I always do this, or it’s I will never and I think if you’re looking just like we said if you’re trying to diagnose where you may be stuck, think about the places where you do say I would never I always those are really good indicators of of places that are stuck in your life.
Jimn Kyles 19:58
Yeah, well, and again, We’ve got that resource for you on the website. It’ll help you walk through that. Give you some examples. And this is a good place for us to end. We’ll pick it up next week. We’re talking about you might be stuck. But I do want you to hear this. You’re never stranded with God. Yes. You’re never stranded with God with God. There is always hope. Yeah. And so next week, we’re going to talk about that so you feel stuck. Okay. How do we get unstuck? What are some of the steps and we’re gonna continue to move it forward? Super, super excited to have you join us. Hey, we want to talk about the show notes.
Jolea Garza 20:31
Yeah, those those show notes can be found online at Jim kyles.com. There’s also a free ebook that we want to put in your hands called help. I’m stuck. Just get to the website, Jim kyles.com. And you can access everything that we have as far as resources go there. Yeah.
Jimn Kyles 20:47
Well, we want to help you move your life forward. I want to encourage you if this has touched you blessed you, you’ve enjoyed it. Would you share and subscribe? Yeah. First, subscribe to the podcast, then share it with what you just share it with two or three friends tell them hey, you know, there’s a great podcast helping us get unstuck becoming unstoppable. And that of course, would you review the podcast if you would review that that helps us in the rankings. It helps us get the word out. We’d love to hear your feedback. And each and every week, what we’ll do is we’ll share some of the feedback you guys are given us. We’re so grateful that you would bring us into your life, bring this into your workspace, your home wherever it is that you consume this content. And so we are excited to see you back next week. We’re going to help you move your life forward. Yes, see you then.